Monday, April 11, 2011

My chaotic quiet times: The ultimate oxymoron!

I'm a teacher, so I'm used to counting backwards from five and using other tricks to get students to listen in the classroom. I often ask them to listen to me with their eyes and ears - to look at me when I'm speaking. In doing this, I'm hoping they will focus 100%, and listen to what I'm saying. (This  is a pipe dream in the classroom, but it's what I'm reaching for.)


On a more personal note, there is a place where this hasn't been working for me lately. These are the times when I sit with my Bible, a pen, and a cup of coffee ready to listen to God, my Teacher. Or at least they should be. 


Instead, I confess, my "quiet" times have become everything but quiet. I have not been a listening student! 


For some reason, I'm still standing in front of a classroom doing all the talking. You know, "Oh Lord, please be with Janet, Julie, Jeff and Keven. Help me with this. Help me with that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." I know these are needs and people I pray for, but good grief! Maybe God would like to get a word in edgewise? 


Sometimes, I even jump up to call someone who needs encouragement - right there in the middle of my quiet (?) time. Doesn't this mean I'm excusing myself from God, and running off to do something I consider more important?


This is not an image I am comfortable with. I want God to receive my full attention. I want my eyes, ears, mind, and heart to be set on him, especially when I'm having my devotional time! 


I want more of God and less of my frenetic personality. Less chatter inside my head when I am kneeling. Less jumping up to make a phone call or refill a coffee cup. I want to become a better listener. 


When I sit down in the mornings and God counts backwards from the number five, I want to be looking straight into his face and hearing what He has to say. 


I want these words to apply to me: Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10


Does this ever happen to you? How do you handle it?


My blogs will always be simple and a little silly, because that's the way God made me. If you wrestle with shutting off distractions during your devotional time, will you share what works for you?


Thanks for listening. I hope I will, too.



4 comments:

  1. I think we all struggle with this. I read something really helpful in Joyce Meyer's book "Start your New Life Today". She said this ongoing commentary of the soul or flesh is, "I think, I want, I feel". We are always thinking, wanting, feeling but the real challenge is to turn off our thinking, wanting, feeling and just listen. Wow! I can only think of a few times when I actually did this and it usually takes me at least 30 minutes to calm down and stop thinking about myself and my worries. I think it usually a little easier for my to calm down and be quiet if I can get outside in nature (take a walk or sit under a tree). God's creation has such a peace and order about it...unlike my mind!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This may sound crazy but sometimes I go to Starbucks or Peets so that I can be still with God. When I am at home I am always jumping up to do something I "NEED" to do.

    Music sometimes helps me to focus and it helps me to get back on track.

    I write letters to God in my journal. I think I am very visual and being able to see the words helps me to not wander.

    Early morning when I am still in bed is the time when I am best at being totally still and just listening.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mom, Do not let this blog get the best of you. It is a spiritual battle. And look how far you've come! Our God is mighty to save! God wants to do great things thru you. He's doing it! Matt. 9:29 "...according to your faith it will be done to you." You have a great faith let that great faith work thru you! Do you believe He can be all powerful in you....in your dreams?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like reading some of my own comments. They speak to me! Ha! Sometimes reading our own words can be very convicting!

    ReplyDelete